When Life Hit Hard

heart surgery
Picture of Beth Julien
Beth Julien
Beth is a mom, wife and abstract artist. She enjoys books on Psychology, Biography and Historical Fiction. In her spare time she loves to write and record sacred music, sing, play the piano, photograph nature and socialize with friends and family.

The summer of 2015 was a scary time for our family. My husband went for a stress test, failed it within the first minute and was taken immediately to the hospital for very serious heart surgery.

What a shock for our whole family! All I could think of, besides “Oh, the poor guy!” was, ‘What if he suffers a lot? What if I lose my life partner? What if my fairly young adult children have to grieve for their father?” And practical things crowded in such as “Do I know how to pay the bills and look after the house while he’s in hospital or if he passes away? What will I do without him to help me think things through in life?” And, on an immediate level, “With so much of my time taken up on out-of-town hospital trips, do I have enough food basics in the house like coffee, bread, sandwich meat, muffins, milk and a casserole for daily dinnertimes? And a big question, “WHAT IF ALL OF THIS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE and it overwhelms me?”

Alone-WomanFor three weeks, as he struggled to recover from the surgery and a couple of serious medical setbacks occurred, I remained in a state of anxiety. I got everything done perfectly that needed doing but I was on high alert, in fear for him, for myself and for our family. Questions kept flooding to the surface. “What if I’ve done or said things that I regret? Have I always been kind to him and if not, will I get the chance to make things right? How will I comfort and reassure my husband who is scared, counsel my kids and at the same time, and care for my own emotional wellbeing?”

sleep did not come to me easily and some days didn’t arrive at all Share on X

Needless to say, sleep did not come to me easily and some days didn’t arrive at all. Not one tear fell onto my face―I just couldn’t find the time or the ability to shed them. People told me to be sure and take care of myself, but I didn’t know what that actually meant. All I could do was manage the moment; caring for myself would have to come later.

Helpers arrived at my side, like angels from God, joining in the daily travel to the hospital, grocery shopping, meals, praying with me, visits to the house and daily email and FB messages. I felt the physical arms and hands of Jesus himself, ready to support and comfort me as I stumbled through those first few weeks. But when everyone was gone at the end of the day, and I was in my room, the fears returned. I couldn’t stop my mind from spinning with worry and dread. “What was going to happen? How could life be so ordinary until this point and now be turned upside down?” Serious spiritual questions arose. “Do I really trust God with absolutely anything that comes my way? Is this the big moment of truth for my faith?”

Keep your mind from rushing to the worst possible outcome. Share on X

Thankfully, wise words from friends and family continued to pour in. “You and your husband are in the capable hands of God. Keep your mind from rushing to the worst possible outcome. You don’t have to be brave and strong all the time. Lean on others including church friends who show the radical love of Christ. You have a Saviour who knows and loves your family―trust Him and stay very close to Him!” And finally, “Focus your mind on things other than illness― positive, happy and uplifting things.” Just like it says in the Bible verse song I memorized as a young Sunday school child:

“Whatsoever things are worthy, whatsoever things are true,
Whatsoever things are noble, let your thoughts these things pursue.
Whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are pure,
And if there be praise or virtue, think on these things – they endure.” (Phillipians 4:8).

When I look back, I see how God worked... Share on X

Life slowly settled down as my husband recovered and our family started to breathe, shed some tears and sleep again. When I look back, I see how God worked through doctors and hospital staff, my husband’s strong and cooperative spirit, friends and family support in crisis, positive thoughts, God’s healing power……and prayer.

Playful-CoupleThere is so much more of life to be enjoyed. What a lovely thought!

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Code of Conduct for all Mission Partners of The Salvation Army in Canada and Bermuda

1. Purpose
To provide mission partners with guidelines regarding their expected behaviour while undertaking work on behalf of TSA. The code of conduct states TSA’s commitment to operating in an ethical and legal manner that aligns with TSA’s mission, vision, values and Orders and Regulations. The code of conduct serves as a foundational standard for other conduct-related operating policies.

2. Basic Principles
All mission partners are expected to behave in ways that are aligned with TSA’s mission and values.

2.1. Mission Statement:
The Salvation Army exists to share the love of Jesus Christ, meet human needs and be a transforming influence in the communities of our world.

2.2. Vision Statement
We are an innovative partner, mobilized to share hope wherever there is hardship, building communities that are just and know the love of Jesus.

2.3. Core Values:
Hope: We give hope through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Service: We reach out to support others without discrimination.
Dignity: We respect and value each other, recognizing everyone’s worth.
Stewardship: We responsibly manage the resources entrusted to us.

3. Conduct Expectations
The code of conduct provides guidelines for mission partner conduct. The code of conduct cannot cover every possible situation; mission partners are responsible for considering each issue in the context of TSA’s mission and values, recognizing that individual conduct may be understood as a reflection of TSA’s values, image, integrity and public trust. If a mission partner is unsure of a situation and needs guidance about their conduct or has concerns about the conduct of another person, they should speak with their supervisor or HR/officer personnel representative.

Mission partners will:
3.1. Comply with TSA policies and procedures.
3.2. Follow all applicable laws and at no time participate in, or assist others to participate in, any illegal, criminal or unethical activities.
3.3. Conduct themselves at all times with honesty, integrity and transparency.
3.4. Perform their defined duties to the best of their ability.
3.5. Treat others, including other mission partners, funders, clients and the public, with respect, dignity, fairness and courtesy.
3.6. Promote and support a work environment that is inclusive of all people and respects their unique abilities, strengths and differences.
3.7. Identify actual, potential or perceived conflicts of interest and disclose them to their supervisor to help minimize or eliminate the impact of such conflicts, which could influence or appear to influence their judgment and actions. Refer to GV 01.003 Conflict of Interest policy for additional direction and requirements.
3.8. Collect, use and disclose confidential information only in accordance with TSA policy and applicable privacy laws. Ensure all records, documents and communications are accurate and that privacy is maintained as required by GV
01.009 Privacy.
3.9. Conduct all business, service and ministry activities in a responsible manner, consistent with TSA’s values of hope, service, dignity and stewardship.
3.10. Always strive to create and maintain the highest health, safety, wellness and environmental standards in all facilities and work areas.
3.11. Take every reasonable precaution to protect the safety of oneself and others and report accidents (however minor) and near-misses (accidents that almost happened), risky behaviours, and instances where equipment and/or building
deficiencies could compromise the safety of a workplace.
3.12. Use information technology, including internet and email, in a professional and appropriate manner, in accordance with TSA policy (IT 02.001 Computers and Information Technology Acceptable Use).
3.13. Ensure they are fit to work and able to perform assigned duties as required by their job description safely, satisfactorily and in compliance with HR 10.002 Substance Impairment in the Workplace.

TSA expects mission partners will not:
3.14. Act in a discriminatory, harassing or violent way toward others.
3.15. Use their position in order to gain an advantage over or exploit the vulnerability of others.
3.16. Destroy or take for personal use any items belonging to or safeguarded by TSA without prior written approval.
3.17. Solicit (money or goods) from clients, donors, vendors, contractors or any person in a position to benefit from their association with TSA. Mission partners will adhere to the requirements of HR 04.002 Gifts, Speaking Fees, and Testimonials policy.
3.18. Give the appearance that they are speaking on behalf of TSA when not authorized to do so or engage in any activity that would negatively impact TSA’s reputation, brand or public image, including the use of personal social media
accounts.
3.19. Initiate contact with the media or respond to their inquiries, and instead will refer all media inquiries to their supervisor, their public relations representative or TSA’s communications department.
3.20. Use, abuse or misuse paid time, TSA resources or the equipment assigned to them.
3.21. Misuse their authority, abuse power, act irresponsibly, retaliate against someone who reports misconduct or exclude others from workplace events.

4. Officers: Orders and Regulations
In the event of a conflict between the provisions of the code of conduct and Orders and Regulations, the latter shall take precedence.

5. Violation of the Code
If a mission partner believes the law, the code of conduct or TSA’s policies may have been violated or are about to be violated, they should inform their supervisor or report their concern through the Whistleblower hotline (see GV 01.008 Whistleblower policy).

Violation of the code of conduct is a serious matter and could result in disciplinary action up to and including termination.