What would you do?

Picture of Carol Ash
Carol Ash
Carol is the proud, single, mom of four adopted children, three of them living with ADHD and other issues. She lives a Christian life and gives her children what experiences she can.

Melt downs in public happen with all little children at some point—in a mall, at a park, at church—when the average infant, toddler, becomes overwhelmed, screaming, crying
and insisting or demanding their own way.

The Multiple Exceptionalities child has them more and may have them well after the toddler phase. It does not look so cute or acceptable to people without children and is often criticized by other parents.

Maybe some reading this think I may be overreacting, but let me tell you first hand, I am not. I have seen the “eye rolls”, have heard the whispers of others, and have even heard the odd comment like, “if that were my child”, or “ can she not control”. I have had cashiers and employees add their suggestions or admonishments to my child.

Let me say this. None of that helps. I am not being a lazy parent. I am not being an over indulgent parent nor am I being a mean parent. What am I being? I am being a parent who loves her children—the good, the bad and the ugly.
Meltdowns and arguments in public are not solved easily. Share on X
These are the things that make parenting a special needs child unique. I get them home or to the car or even a quiet spot and let them work through it. They may lose a privilege or have a time out, but most importantly we will have a hug and a cuddle that will reassure. Many outside factors contribute to said events.

Why do I write this?

It is for the parents out there who may not experience said meltdowns, or the younger adults who are not where I am, or the grandparents who perhaps parented differently than we do today.

Please don’t roll your eyes

Please don’t mutter and whisper to each other and please don’t offer advice or admonish my child. Just walk on by, keep doing your job, sipping your coffee, knowing that this too shall pass. Pray for me and my child that we may find peace to continue the outing and not have to go home screaming and kicking.

So next time you are the onlooker please remember this advice. To the others that have and do go through what I do, be reassured you are not alone. Just as Christ admonished the disciples and reminded him the children were just as important as the adults, let us too never forget that.

Pray for me and my child that we may find peace to continue Share on X

My Beautiful Kids!
My Beautiful Kids!

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Code of Conduct for all Mission Partners of The Salvation Army in Canada and Bermuda

1. Purpose
To provide mission partners with guidelines regarding their expected behaviour while undertaking work on behalf of TSA. The code of conduct states TSA’s commitment to operating in an ethical and legal manner that aligns with TSA’s mission, vision, values and Orders and Regulations. The code of conduct serves as a foundational standard for other conduct-related operating policies.

2. Basic Principles
All mission partners are expected to behave in ways that are aligned with TSA’s mission and values.

2.1. Mission Statement:
The Salvation Army exists to share the love of Jesus Christ, meet human needs and be a transforming influence in the communities of our world.

2.2. Vision Statement
We are an innovative partner, mobilized to share hope wherever there is hardship, building communities that are just and know the love of Jesus.

2.3. Core Values:
Hope: We give hope through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Service: We reach out to support others without discrimination.
Dignity: We respect and value each other, recognizing everyone’s worth.
Stewardship: We responsibly manage the resources entrusted to us.

3. Conduct Expectations
The code of conduct provides guidelines for mission partner conduct. The code of conduct cannot cover every possible situation; mission partners are responsible for considering each issue in the context of TSA’s mission and values, recognizing that individual conduct may be understood as a reflection of TSA’s values, image, integrity and public trust. If a mission partner is unsure of a situation and needs guidance about their conduct or has concerns about the conduct of another person, they should speak with their supervisor or HR/officer personnel representative.

Mission partners will:
3.1. Comply with TSA policies and procedures.
3.2. Follow all applicable laws and at no time participate in, or assist others to participate in, any illegal, criminal or unethical activities.
3.3. Conduct themselves at all times with honesty, integrity and transparency.
3.4. Perform their defined duties to the best of their ability.
3.5. Treat others, including other mission partners, funders, clients and the public, with respect, dignity, fairness and courtesy.
3.6. Promote and support a work environment that is inclusive of all people and respects their unique abilities, strengths and differences.
3.7. Identify actual, potential or perceived conflicts of interest and disclose them to their supervisor to help minimize or eliminate the impact of such conflicts, which could influence or appear to influence their judgment and actions. Refer to GV 01.003 Conflict of Interest policy for additional direction and requirements.
3.8. Collect, use and disclose confidential information only in accordance with TSA policy and applicable privacy laws. Ensure all records, documents and communications are accurate and that privacy is maintained as required by GV
01.009 Privacy.
3.9. Conduct all business, service and ministry activities in a responsible manner, consistent with TSA’s values of hope, service, dignity and stewardship.
3.10. Always strive to create and maintain the highest health, safety, wellness and environmental standards in all facilities and work areas.
3.11. Take every reasonable precaution to protect the safety of oneself and others and report accidents (however minor) and near-misses (accidents that almost happened), risky behaviours, and instances where equipment and/or building
deficiencies could compromise the safety of a workplace.
3.12. Use information technology, including internet and email, in a professional and appropriate manner, in accordance with TSA policy (IT 02.001 Computers and Information Technology Acceptable Use).
3.13. Ensure they are fit to work and able to perform assigned duties as required by their job description safely, satisfactorily and in compliance with HR 10.002 Substance Impairment in the Workplace.

TSA expects mission partners will not:
3.14. Act in a discriminatory, harassing or violent way toward others.
3.15. Use their position in order to gain an advantage over or exploit the vulnerability of others.
3.16. Destroy or take for personal use any items belonging to or safeguarded by TSA without prior written approval.
3.17. Solicit (money or goods) from clients, donors, vendors, contractors or any person in a position to benefit from their association with TSA. Mission partners will adhere to the requirements of HR 04.002 Gifts, Speaking Fees, and Testimonials policy.
3.18. Give the appearance that they are speaking on behalf of TSA when not authorized to do so or engage in any activity that would negatively impact TSA’s reputation, brand or public image, including the use of personal social media
accounts.
3.19. Initiate contact with the media or respond to their inquiries, and instead will refer all media inquiries to their supervisor, their public relations representative or TSA’s communications department.
3.20. Use, abuse or misuse paid time, TSA resources or the equipment assigned to them.
3.21. Misuse their authority, abuse power, act irresponsibly, retaliate against someone who reports misconduct or exclude others from workplace events.

4. Officers: Orders and Regulations
In the event of a conflict between the provisions of the code of conduct and Orders and Regulations, the latter shall take precedence.

5. Violation of the Code
If a mission partner believes the law, the code of conduct or TSA’s policies may have been violated or are about to be violated, they should inform their supervisor or report their concern through the Whistleblower hotline (see GV 01.008 Whistleblower policy).

Violation of the code of conduct is a serious matter and could result in disciplinary action up to and including termination.